Sometimes the day takes up way too much energy, and at the end of it, I’m left sitting, wasted, my vision flickering dots like flies festering in the corners, and I’m aware of all the things I still have left to do, but unable to realistically face them. Then, all my classes finish and my body is still doing the little tricks it did before, to survive the gauntlet, but this time the gauntlet doesn’t come and I complete my tasks with such energy that I can’t help but be in a good mood, because it’s either that or I have to go run around the school grounds ten times to burn it all off. Today was that day. I didn’t run around the school, but I still have to go to school on a few days. I don’t have much to do other than a few closing classes and special events. There’s some meetings with teachers, like to get references for my Masters’ application and thank them, but I’m mostly done.
It’s strange, moving on from a whole period of your life and knowing it is over. Some parts make me sad. I’m sure I’ll never face that group of friends in quite the same way, for example. Yet, I can’t help being happy about it and eager to start the next leg of the journey. I don’t know exactly where I’m going, it has to be said, I’m just carving a course that best suits me and my interests at the time, when really I should be honing a skill, right? That’s what the writing is for. Is it just me or is the world too unpredictable at the moment to have a definite plan? We’re definitely at some kind of turning point and maybe beyond it we won’t need writers, or stories, or moochers. Maybe we’ll go back to just needing to survive – a likely prospect with the giant Cheeto leading the way. In which case I’m worthless. I have zero survival skills, and I’ll probably only be able to help others by getting killed first, in their place.
So, how are we supposed to teach children today, to prepare them for the world? Should we have basic survival classes? I think these things and I always fall back on the same old comfort: that technology will save us. We’re close to the singularity. The robots will save us. We’ll be able to cure everything that ails us soon. Just need to hang on a few more years. A couple of decades at most. I think that’s why my dad went into invention, and eventually went free lance. Crowd-sourcing is a wonderful thing. I want to be more active too, I just wish someone had told me when I was younger that I needed to be aimed in a particular direction, rather than letting me jump hoops without telling me why. Only I can make myself relevant – which is why I am learning. Full circle. Job done. Let’s go and have some tea.
My blogs will make sense as I recover from my heavy workload. Until then, enjoy my torpor inducded ramblings. When did you know what you wanted to do in life?