How to have freaky dreams

I told you I was freaky, baby. Last night was a relative cornucopia of freaky images in my head box. First I dreamt I was protecting a baby again (shut up, biological clock) only this time, I was on a beach and had to fight a giant octopus so we could sail our makeshift raft to safety. When I say the octopus was giant, I mean Cthulhu sized. Yet, I faced that dude with no fear, giving him some of my best Crash Bandicoot style spin attacks.

Then I was on a subway train, in the darkest part of the tunnel, squashed in a seat with naked, radish spirit sized men all around me. They had blank expressions like the soulless inhabitants of real life subways, but as the occasional tunnel light flashed over their faces, they would momentarily show a menacing, perverted grin and leer at me, and sometimes they would distort into what looked more like a human colored hammer head shark. 

When I wasn’t dreaming, the blank darkness was a writhing mass of tubes and bumps, squirmy, fleshy masses contorting and wriggling for space in the infinite darkness. The endless movement made me feel sick.

I couldn’t quiet my brain down, at about 2:30 am, so I got out of bed for the toilet, and stopped for a drink. I had one whole glass and immediately had another without thinking. I then sat and played a game for a bit while my stomach went down. As I did, I started to feel hungry, so I finished off the large yoghurt in the fridge, a last resort because I had no bananas left, my go to snack of choice. After that, I felt thirsty still. I poured another full glass of water and drank that. I could have stayed up longer but the heat downstairs was getting to me. I went back to bed and listened to music until I fell asleep.

I awoke feeling much better than I have done in ages. Partly, this was due to the weather. Yesterday it was like an anvil had fallen on the city, but today was light, sunny and breezy. It felt like a different world. Mostly, I was terribly dehydrated before and didn’t even realize it. It made me feel so sick and anxious, and gave me strange dreams that got more frightening. 

Health warning people: always drink water. Not Starbucks.


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